TheDaYwhenLIfestopped

We were in subtle mood, and the aura surrounding us was serene. We are forced into our nests of comfortability with the deepened feelings of comfort, like a small birdy to it’s mother for the love and warmth and the protection that she is seeking in her mother’s wings, that are enveloped around her when she sleeps.
In a similar way we both, cuddled each other for the same warmth and protection from which? still i don’t know, might be we had the same fear of loosing each other, so wept and we don’t know why we are weeping. The time is melting and our eyes are speaking everything and the only sound that crackled is the piano play back at the end titles of “Spanglish” movie.
It has been four years we got married, we liked each other our love was unusual we met online, i was fat for at that time. Now I am slim compared to my stature of those times but still fat. She saw my pics and I we chatted I never thought a gal will like a fat guy. Though they say character is important they like tom, brad, siddharth, prabhas, hritik,john Abraham……….and the list goes on.
Once she spoke to me she said I am a mirror image in many ideas of hers. And we chatted we never asked anything from anybody because we got what we expected from each other and we ended up marrying.
Today we still have the same feeling of earlier days of our love. It’s around two o clock in the morning and its winter so we are covered in thick sheets of woolen and on also a thick layer of warmth of our love is covered on us. Our careers are great and we got all we wan and as of now everything was happy with us. Its not happiness it’s a mix of all things in life we enjoyed every part of it. Today we are sleepy and missed each other very much that we don’t know when we slept but as it was weekend, we didn’t find waking up late.
That’s a call that woke me up, i was alone and my friend called me up to know my situation and he is the only one who takes time from his life for me, it makes me feel better. The call didn’t last long few crisp Q&A ended it. it has been around an year and it is the same day and I was in same spot where we slept that night alone. She is no more.she left me on the day of tragedy. I never knew that I cared for somebody in my life so much. many call me as an idiot or a fellow who can’t take life as a rivers flow, where you can’t touch the same shore again. So you should go for a new shore when you miss one. But I stopped the flow of my life then at that point. Now, I am slim. She might have loved it. I switched on coffee machine.
The day was bright and warm and lovely why we don’t know the coffee is getting ready we love to have coffee together so we wait for other to wake up. And we woke up around ten because of a call from my neighborhood that our dog is barking we didn’t feed him. Usually it follows our time table but some times, it hates our laziness. I sorted out our neighbor and left the dog out of belt free. But he din’t go any where, when ever I loosen up it’s belt it used to run away but today it ran into house and roamed with us.
Now, also the doggy is with me but it never barked after that day. Might be it also got habituated to the silence and of my life and adopted it. As there was nothing to do I red the paper and took bath and made my only companion to get fresh I no more call it a dog as it became a part of my life and solace.
We both had coffee and chatted about a baby whom we are soon going to get, the names, the care we have to take, the way have to behave, and about her health I was worried a lot. Though I know a lot of gynecology stuff I used to fear a lot about her. We cooked a lot. Cooking is our favorite sport she and I both won a contest too. We had a wide variety of items on menu. Mostly veg.
Now after lunch we wanted a walk, its usual for us to go for a walk as we both admire nature a lot and we have lot of fun in watching kids play in park and when some college guy and gal cruise on bike, the softness in winds, the cloudy sky the rays that want finds their way to earth from clouds. The trees swaying in a way to show that they are happy to see us and we think their gestures as welcome for us. We did this when ever we found time. That day it just drizzled.
I was walking with the companion I used to laugh a lot people say that I had an adorable smile and I lost it with her, now I try to bring that up whenever I walk because she used to say that my smiles are contagious and will help anybody to recover from any kind of trauma or sadness they had. But that magic is not working for me. The only face that made me smile is no more present on this earth and asked me to smile for ever when she left me.
As we were walking the trees swaying I hold her with my arm, and she asked a strange wish. She asked me to not treat the child harshly if she dies giving birth to our love. And I said laughingly that I will never do that. And I said that to tease her that I will be a better father without her as the child can have fun without any restrictions from her mom. She also teased me saying that i can never do that without her help. We went to have the chat pani poori was her fav, and daily we used to have at corner of the road. Today she asked around six to take her to gokul chat in koti where you get the best one. But she insisted thinking of traffic on a weekend. I said traffic is my problem when you want something its my duty to get that to satisfy you.
I saw the enfield bullet, it is rusty and covered under thick layers of dust. I went up got the cleaning material and cleaned, as it is part of our cherished memory, as our last ride we took was on that. I ride it on weekends and I feel that she is still on my back seat holding me tight. And my companion loves and barks only whenever I clean my bullet.
As traffic is a concern and I have to get her to the spot before she looses the appetite I took the bullet and we were riding soon as teens, and Hyderabad is a place where you can have great fun riding your bike and when some body loves you is with you on ride. Cloud nine comes down to the city roads of Hyderabad. We reached there in half an hour, usually it takes miyapur to there and hour say hats off to my riding skills to get there in half an hour and my bike which helps me do that. She loved the ride a lot and she didn’t speak a word and held me tight during the ride. Clock stuck seven thirty and we had our pani poori. She said at that time that she wants to die at that point as she can never be so happy in her whole life, I again teasingly said why are you so happy with the chat, she confessed that chat made her happy because she is with the best part of her life [me] is here with her. And suddenly she asked for the pink sweet on the street I she was still having the pani poori. I beaing flattered by her statement kissed her on forehead and went out to get that sweet. That fellow was far from the reach I have to cross the lane and get to the other side and chase him down till some where down the road. I got the sweet.
Turned back now, I am in the same road where the bomb blasted that took lives and along with their lives took many lives of others like mine now I am just physically alive. My soul left me. I can still see her smiling, with concern and love in here eyes and asking me to come back. The smile engulfed in smoke and fire left nothing but flesh and blood and I only found our engagement ring on the road.

Scary and inexplicable loss took me over from that point.

I still don’t know why my wife and a newly wed marvadi couple and love birds and kids who died in a serial of blasts that took in Hyderabad. What did they want? They wanted to conquer the world with fear? They wanted to show how strong they are ? they killed so many for the rules made by us on the name of god for our better livelihood and non-chaotic society. Why why why why whats the reason. If I find that person I won’t kill him/her I will ask him to live my life. I will ask him to eliminate the barriers in his mind about religions I won’t kill him I won’t let him die, I will show him how to regret and help us to stop having such things. Death may not help them to change, it is easy to die than to live with the loss of your love.
NB: everything is fictious it doesn’t refer any body. Its an outcome of sorrow and concern that we have for our fellow beings. Please pray for their peaceful rest and pray for all the families relatives to be unaffected by loss and not become a person in the above story. Please.
Dated: 25/08/2007