When FEAR guides you

I did read the novel state of FEAR. But, today when I woke up lot of things started haunting me. I just realized that FEAR plays a ferocious part in ones life and it did fairly good job in screwing me up.

Now I remember why I pursued higher studies; the fear of not having a job pushed me there but my excelling at that is again driven by the FEAR of failure.

I didn’t ask one of friend out because I feared the end of what ever I have. I never took a chance. We used to go out together have our dental fillings and roam around. Even the flower knows that there were sparks flying but I didn’t ask her out. Because of FEAR of rejection;. And now I am still not asking her out Because of FEAR of being late.

This FEAR is the one driving me crazy to work hard to stay ahead in the race. This FEAR of not meeting social standards is making me to run the Treadmill to get a girl. What is this FEAR has done to me?

Why I write my blogs with not being the first person experiencing it? This time the FEAR is me being open book. Then my mind asked Why today you are finding this in your life, when you were happy being driven by FEAR. Yesterday night when I was busy with you know as usual stuff. There were shouting and fight happening between the guys in the shop from where I get a nice wish of good morning and also a nice experience of doing business with them.

But yesterday when some one was hitting those shopwallahs and almost killed them. I didn’t call police FEARing the damage they may cause for having Power [To say precisely mis-use of Power. It is a general notion tat police screw up] that they may spoil the situation it further for them. As I don’t know the facts about the fight [FEAR of no knowledge]. Then I thought of going down and stopping but, I FEARed what if I am picking up the wrong side. So I stayed and watched.

Now my conscience hit me hard and made me agitated telling that I might have gone down atleast stopped the fight without taking sides. This is making me feel guilty and today I end up here writing this, rather than facing those guys, because of FEAR of not doing what is correct.

Now I realized the FEAR in my life and its effect on my life. I have decided to mend the fear to have constructive results. [ I wrote the last line because of FEARing that people think that I FEAR and it is nothing but FEAR of accepting the fact in front of all].