Appealing to EGO—Is Love?

Having aloo paratha with no oil served hot with tomato achar is a delight with a hot tea beside. While eating my mind just flipped through few movies, which led me to initiate the thought process and start the conversation. With my roomie who eventually is the victim. :P of my weird thoughts.

I said that appealing to one’s ego will be the only reason and the cause to fall in love. Or to put it simple, when your ego gets satisfied then you fall in love. It sounded weird to me in the beginning.

Case 1:

Assume you have a guy/girl and you are flirting with him/her and he/she is comfortable with you around and you are trying to impress him/her and which is eventually making him/her comfortable. And now that person being happy in the comfort zone and never leaves. Suddenly one day a person can be opposite sex or the same one, shows up with their attitude.

And as this new person’s attitude is so different from the gang he/she hang’s out. Now, being bored after prolonged stay in the comfort zone, the guy/girl feels that he/she is neglected. So, they now to satisfy their ego, they go around this new person.

And when anybody is doing this they feel the satisfaction by seeing the change in the person’s attitude and growing interest on him/her. This being new to this guy feels that he/she is made for her/him. They propose and live happily ever after.

Conclusion: To be in love you needed to be satisfied with your ego and be at right time in one’s life when they are bored.

Here the ego makes us fall in love.

Case 2:

You both are friends from childhood and living your life happily and felt that you will be happier if you continue this for ever through out your life. So, those two decided to fall in love and continue their journey and they lived happily ever after.

Conclusion: Why can’t they try others? Why did they only stick to themselves? What made them do that? The answer would be the fear of loss. Something they can’t take it. They feel that they both make the better match and don’t depart.

It is like a little cub being in zoo and never taught hunting can never do hunting. So, the fear of not knowing to get food makes it to stay in the zoo. The same logic applies to the above stated category of people too…

Here for those the pain of not changing is less than the pain of changing.

From here me and my roomie argued that as I was only considering hypothetical things and what I talk is bull shit.. Which many may accept also…. :D

Case 3:

Now the third type is the people who are in dire need of emotional support or anything. Some times when you are wounded all you search is for a shrine. But, shrine can’t be a home. Home becomes a shrine. But, shrine can never become a home.

Based on the above statement what I try to pull out is, when you are in need of something, and somebody provides you with that. You will be thankful and can return their help in future in whatever form they needed rather than that what do us eventually do is to go fall in love with them and continue our lives with them.

As mentioned earlier the need is temporary one have to evaluate options before going in for a commitment. Being thankful is not love. And instead of repaying we end up committed to wrong person ruining both lives.

Conclusion: When you are out of relationship you weave everything of your life with that person and when that person quits you don’t want to hang in vacuum so you catch hold of a helping and live there.

Here the fear of not having anything leads them to fall in love.

Case 4:

As I am not writing a book anything as of now, I will end with this last case. You will be married which is arranged. What one does is to adjust and love the person and it will be same from the other side too. All you have to do is chill and carry on with what you are doing.

Now suddenly one day you find a perfect match for you and you will be more than happy with that person. But, you can’t go with that person as you are entangled in a bond. After pursuing hard I came to know that few are willing to go if the married person is ok with it. And many won’t leave the partner at all if they had kids.

And many condemned the concept that perfect person for me is an absurdity and it will not be there as nobody is perfect. So, my wife or husband is what or whom I love and live with.

Conclusion:

Fear of being blamed by society.

Fear of being not loyal.

Fear of uncertainty. [Assuming that the new person may leave like you who left your family]

Fear of loss of belief.

There is nothing wrong in falling in love with anybody. If that person is in love with another and they both are happy. We shouldn’t have to interfere. Have to just stay on the beaches by not boarding to sail for life with them. Because those two’s egos are appealing to each other.

Emotional need, fear, and many more lead us to fall in love and everybody has their own reason to be in love. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just stick to what ever you do. Once done be happy with it. And stop regretting. That will help us all to lead better lives and have faith on our fellow beings.

Hope this was helpful to judge my title.