Now i knw wat to do?

Now I understood that why am I watching all the movies on the first day first releases.

Then suddenly it dawned to me that I was in search of solace which I never found after my break up. And was searching for some kind of answer or justification, which can provide me an answer and that may help me to move on. And it is evident that movies always have happy endings and you will never find an answer there. All I end up is more wounded as every movie had a happy ending even the more realistic ones.

And my guess always used to be the best as hero wins in the end by winning hearts or dies by winning hearts. Now I am in a state of awful regret of why I didn’t take that extra step. Even if it wouldn’t have worked I must have given a try. Why I didn’t try??? And now being socialized online I am always haunted or found easily by the people who were supposed to stay far.

Being wounded I am in need of a shrine, which I am yet to find. That makes me desperate and now finding shrines in every other person and knowing that it is not the one I am confused and lost. God all I need is a light. Provide me and show me the path.

And I suddenly came to know that the last eighteen months I wasted which is costing me a lot. I am aged and girls and boys being 4/5 ratio it is tuff to find a lonely one outside. Even if I find she is not spreading the magic needed. What am I now desperate bachelor now going home and asking for an arranged marriage.

Where chances are too bad, as one have to please aunty, uncle and relatives rather than daughter. Everybody checks your pay check and BMI. So they can have better off springs. Is that all we are living for. Is that the only thing we worry for? Why can’t people believe on others? Is believing tuff or the fear of unable to handle when belief is broken is avoiding people to believe.

Now I am at the cross roads where I took a decision to stop watching movies on first days. Hope I may stick to it.

Appealing to EGO—Is Love?

Having aloo paratha with no oil served hot with tomato achar is a delight with a hot tea beside. While eating my mind just flipped through few movies, which led me to initiate the thought process and start the conversation. With my roomie who eventually is the victim. :P of my weird thoughts.

I said that appealing to one’s ego will be the only reason and the cause to fall in love. Or to put it simple, when your ego gets satisfied then you fall in love. It sounded weird to me in the beginning.

Case 1:

Assume you have a guy/girl and you are flirting with him/her and he/she is comfortable with you around and you are trying to impress him/her and which is eventually making him/her comfortable. And now that person being happy in the comfort zone and never leaves. Suddenly one day a person can be opposite sex or the same one, shows up with their attitude.

And as this new person’s attitude is so different from the gang he/she hang’s out. Now, being bored after prolonged stay in the comfort zone, the guy/girl feels that he/she is neglected. So, they now to satisfy their ego, they go around this new person.

And when anybody is doing this they feel the satisfaction by seeing the change in the person’s attitude and growing interest on him/her. This being new to this guy feels that he/she is made for her/him. They propose and live happily ever after.

Conclusion: To be in love you needed to be satisfied with your ego and be at right time in one’s life when they are bored.

Here the ego makes us fall in love.

Case 2:

You both are friends from childhood and living your life happily and felt that you will be happier if you continue this for ever through out your life. So, those two decided to fall in love and continue their journey and they lived happily ever after.

Conclusion: Why can’t they try others? Why did they only stick to themselves? What made them do that? The answer would be the fear of loss. Something they can’t take it. They feel that they both make the better match and don’t depart.

It is like a little cub being in zoo and never taught hunting can never do hunting. So, the fear of not knowing to get food makes it to stay in the zoo. The same logic applies to the above stated category of people too…

Here for those the pain of not changing is less than the pain of changing.

From here me and my roomie argued that as I was only considering hypothetical things and what I talk is bull shit.. Which many may accept also…. :D

Case 3:

Now the third type is the people who are in dire need of emotional support or anything. Some times when you are wounded all you search is for a shrine. But, shrine can’t be a home. Home becomes a shrine. But, shrine can never become a home.

Based on the above statement what I try to pull out is, when you are in need of something, and somebody provides you with that. You will be thankful and can return their help in future in whatever form they needed rather than that what do us eventually do is to go fall in love with them and continue our lives with them.

As mentioned earlier the need is temporary one have to evaluate options before going in for a commitment. Being thankful is not love. And instead of repaying we end up committed to wrong person ruining both lives.

Conclusion: When you are out of relationship you weave everything of your life with that person and when that person quits you don’t want to hang in vacuum so you catch hold of a helping and live there.

Here the fear of not having anything leads them to fall in love.

Case 4:

As I am not writing a book anything as of now, I will end with this last case. You will be married which is arranged. What one does is to adjust and love the person and it will be same from the other side too. All you have to do is chill and carry on with what you are doing.

Now suddenly one day you find a perfect match for you and you will be more than happy with that person. But, you can’t go with that person as you are entangled in a bond. After pursuing hard I came to know that few are willing to go if the married person is ok with it. And many won’t leave the partner at all if they had kids.

And many condemned the concept that perfect person for me is an absurdity and it will not be there as nobody is perfect. So, my wife or husband is what or whom I love and live with.

Conclusion:

Fear of being blamed by society.

Fear of being not loyal.

Fear of uncertainty. [Assuming that the new person may leave like you who left your family]

Fear of loss of belief.

There is nothing wrong in falling in love with anybody. If that person is in love with another and they both are happy. We shouldn’t have to interfere. Have to just stay on the beaches by not boarding to sail for life with them. Because those two’s egos are appealing to each other.

Emotional need, fear, and many more lead us to fall in love and everybody has their own reason to be in love. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just stick to what ever you do. Once done be happy with it. And stop regretting. That will help us all to lead better lives and have faith on our fellow beings.

Hope this was helpful to judge my title.

Mirrors everywhere

There were times when there is no way to see them while they can see the whole world through the eye. Now, as usual humans got curious and invented the mirrors. Initially it is fascinating and everybody wanted that. People are used to say that “I love to see myself in a mirror.. I love to see myself in a reflection…I love to see how do I look” and when one finds that something is not good they used to check them in the mirror and adjust, adapt and evolve to look better in their mirrors rather than themselves.

They are happy as they are once as soon as they kept the mirrors they lost their own face of truth. Now, they don’t exist their reflection exist. Now, my whole space in my room of life is not there any more. It is filled up with mirrors and mirrors. How many may u meet u make them as a mirror and keep it ur room.

Now everybody wants the lies as they are smoother and happier. When I ask why they say what is wrong with a little lie to keep up their status quo ante… Once there was a research done in which they found that when two unknown people are put together to they alone in a room the tendency of each to lying about themselves to each other is more. Because people see them from others eyes or otherwise known as social mirrors.

Breaking those mirrors or seeing through them is easy and none tries that. When you ask why they have no answer or the fact is they are not daring enough to see them as they are. Might be they don’t want to be moved out of their comfort zone.

When every thing is perspective why stay within the mirrors. Come out and stay as u are. And I am not asking u to abandon the mirrors. They are useful. Use them for the purpose they are made. Make the mirror in which u see yourself candidly. Use ur mirror to judge u rather than others. Once u do that all use u as a mirror to reflect their image.

And becoming a mirror for others is not the ultimate goal. Looking urself in ur mirror. And making others do the same things like you will help rather than u replacing other mirrors. Then u will be neither replaceable nor recyclable.

Now I am with no mirror and people are gonna suffer including me as they may get hurt with the image of truth or I may get hurt because of the image I am producing. It might be the start later there won’t be any more mirrors in my life.

Media uses such mirrors to create images. So stay to the right things in the media.

I have to blame…… myself…….

“There is nothing I can do about many things”.. this is the sentence that I kept on hearing now a days… from everybody…….. When I ask them to show face the naked truth about what they are up to, nobody never does it… and they play the blame game. When they are asked to do something they say that the person next to me or the person in my neighborhood or the person in his friends or relatives never does anything like that why should I have to do…. That is how we are never capable of changing anything in our lives. We are unable to get a new government… we can’t take responsibility.. people stay in their happiness bubbles… and never came out….

There was an interesting conversation with a person I met who is educated and working for a nice organization… we were just having a conversation… and when I asked him to what about global warming? How are u taking steps.. to control it… mentioning that this time temperatures are high… then he says I board into an AC coach or AC bus… what a big deal he said. I was stunned aren’t we responsible for such warming thing then he says no problem there will be somewhere in this world people working to find out another earth or something like that.. And suggested that you should have enough money to go there that’s it…

I am tired trying to be myself….. And swimming against the flow.. The flow is making me deteriorate and perish… Nobody ever takes responsibility… When we at the verge of something so rare that happens to a nation people say that we are not ready to take responsibility for anything… what the fish is this…

It is the same all over the world people blame other countries…… When you are not able to take step and speak for the whole humane race, rather than countries, states earth will survive… but, this will never happen… People live in a world of relativity… keeping themselves busy and happy from comparing themselves with somebody who is inferior to him or her and satisfying their bull shit ego… When you try they suppress…because these little minds live in their little worlds and when ur world starts growing bigger and bigger they just can’t take it as they think that supporting a good thing will make them inferior… So, they are ready to take stand on the wrong side rather than supporting a change…

So, to become a leader one don’t have to be a great person he/she have to be the person who can jus make people feel comfortable… not the pat breaker… To feel that they are lot more better than one country they gave the award to SLUMDOG MILLINOAIRE… they are not even able to put up a DISCLAIMER stating that this doesn’t represent once national image… theses politicians neither able to ask… Now, America funding pak for military and non-military thing what is that move… india became a whining wife who can be beaten depending on anybody’s mood… but, we are adaptable or to state it in another way “sab chalta hain”concept is making us live.. as u have to run hard to earn bread there is no time as population is more and that is making us run not giving time to think… Now, with this name people will be called isn’t this fair… Please don’t fall for prejudices.

This is no force that made resilient.. this is the choice we made to be resilient… might….. be this is just an opposing statement as in “A Wednesday” movie.. Even in that he did that when he hurted him.. Why getting hurt and trying to clean the wound… It is not the issue of terrorism or global warming or anything.. It is us that make this place a great place to live.. So, stop being dumb and act.. This Is the fault of the greed in us.. Please wipe it off.. Think that sharing a twenty rupee among two may make u get ten, if u cheat on him and u want to keep the twenty with u, u may end upp with ten again as u have to play a tough hard ball to get that twenty and u will also ruin that mans share which he is supposed to get and fueling other anti-elements…

This is not what we expect… from our fellow beings.. I am not worried whether he/she is an Asian, African that person has to be human being to help and make the place a better one… Don’t use others weaknesses to play.. It ain’t no game it is Life… If u still don’t know the meaning of life…. Ask me…

In an interview in a news channel nandan the writer of world is flat told that he can win the election in this conference room… outside he can’t because he is not a hero in the movie or not a person to some great family or the moneywallah or the a rowdy or a person who can control a sect of religion…

So, please vote and act to make this earth a better one not a place to fight… here there is no winning, who ever wins somebody else looses and when somebody looses it is in turn showing that how u let down u r fellow being… learn from animals atleast…

I am still blaming myself….

This world is a big Ocean……..

This world is a big Ocean……..
and it is full of FISH…. [FISH is a pseudo name for feminine human species]
So, every fish will be waiting for them to rescued and put into aquarium [Aquarium is Male species life]
In Hindi,

duniya ek badi samandar hain
uske andar machiliyon ka kami nahi hain...
har ek machili.... apne aquarium ke liye wait kar rahi hogi….

But ,due to pollution and global warming FISH strength is getting low…

[Here Water Pollution is refered to pollution only caused by woman’s wants…
As each woman will carry or possess 3 to four woman’s accessories like foot wear to make up gear….Which is creating lot of demand and lot of companies…Poor male species they don’t know that running any factory related to women is like putting their head into alligator’s mouth… That stunt may turn audience in but @ the cost of ur life]

[Now, the second thing is global warming… it is a substitute for jealousy that feminine species have to their same sect species… if one has got something another also gets something more or big or similar.. this increases the reproduction of same product without improvement and as the life period of such goods are short lived the cycle repeats. In olden days it was slow and long so it wasn’t a problem now…the cycle is reaching its start point fast…this is global warming]


Now, the problem is FISH before getting into once in an aquarium first reaches aquarium shop…everybody can check it out before getting into their lives… As the aquariums strength is more than fishes… and one aquarium can only hold one FISH… if u allow multiple FISHES to reside they consume lot of resources than normally…

So… every one tries out the FISH in the shop… they seem to be nice… But, as soon as they find a better bigger aquarium they will jump… it is once said that [A man is considered as a successful person only when his earning is more than what his wife spends and similarly a woman becomes successful when she finds such a man]….

So, depending on age and needs FISH seem to jump easily from one aquarium to aquarium… And to jump into another aquarium they need a valid reason so the FISH will make the aquarium stink and loose it’s beauty and basically once a FISH comes in it includes what all it needs into the aquarium… so aquarium looses identity… so when FISH also leaves it spoils the remaining identity.. .and leaves the FISH marks… so, u have to clean the tank again loosing ur inherent attributes… [like hanging over with frnds in bar… later alone…. some things like tat..]

So, until a FISH finds an aquarium suitable to it… it will be jumping or some body acting like a net will move it to other aquarium like parents who will find a match for the FISH… But, where ever it goes it will make the aquarium stink and bad… so it needs cleaning.. .and aquariums are of no use without fish….

So, beware guys… the beauty of aquarium is unique don’t spoil with dirty FISH,…

Rock the valentine dayyyyyyyyyyyy :P

How to revenge on gals that ditch guys easily….

All this ditching after having one as a friend another as boy friend and marrying another has become a routine on earth…

Even I saw many cases and I am victimized because of this effect… and I have witnessed many…

This is all because of the gratio effect …. gratio effect is a situation that where the ratio of gals over boys goes less than 1.1 [gals/boys]…

What happens during gratioflation is due to decrease in the the gals strength guys have to do additional tricks like the employees in a cost cutting company… or employees in a circus… performing additional dangerous stunts…

Because of this all my dear bros can’t get a gal for everybody and now this leads to chaos and… bros fight against each other which is a catastrophe…

And this also leads to the females to date two alpha males at the same time… which is chaotic for them as it is confusing and so they leave both these alpha males to eat dust and goes for another male… who is a gamma version but still stays with him as he won’t question her alpha male affairs…[Because BROS never question another BROS affairs]

But, there is no effect called mratio effect because increase in female population than male population won’t cause any chaos in male species and female species… So, there is no plan needed to regulate male population…Care should be taken that male population is always less than females. But, you know nature’s theory of choosing the fit one is the culprit that is producing more males as they are fit…

Now, to avoid this we need to go for cloning…. first thing we have to do is to end this crisis and it can only be achieved by cloning technique and bring out loads and loads of lady babies outside… who just look like models…. And bring up the ratio to 1.1 and more….

When you do this, these normal ones who rejected alpha males and settled with beta & gamma male species… will regret… and will loose their beta gamma males and suffer….

So, suit uppp bros… lets get our hands in the lab… Every body comes out of our lab will be LEGENDARYYYYYYYYY…and will satisfy our criteria….

The lab’s name is…BABE’ CRAFT… . Come in to post comments with a HI5….


Statutory warning: Using cloning one should never produce lady babies that are similar to their girl friends..

BUCKET LIST continuation

What ever i have said might have made u feel better but it will show that u r hurt and insecure and childish... taking revenge on what u love makes u feel sick.... So.... Jus let the love gooooooo.....

But i will bet u jus njoy the lonely ness of ur life and have fun.... Njoy being alone for some time and enjoy the solace....

So, That list may make u feel better, but ur self esteem still goes down and u r self pity level grows high....

Think before u let the love go..... Give her a better send off.... she has her own reasons...

Make it a better LIFE ahead... for her and great start for u again...

ADIOS........ is a the best the thing u can tell and that is the last thing u can do to make her feel better so do it....... Dont hurt others feelings it wont cost u anything and u dont have the right to do it.... [hurting others feelings]

BUCKET LIST TO RECOVER FROM BREAK UPPP

What keeps u happy out of break up….

Break up doesn’t have categories… whether u guys decently broke up or broke up violently or broke up for whatever reason… There is only one category i.e., BREAK UPP categoryyyyyy……

My friend always says this “u never made up in the first place to break up. :O”
Then I stop thinking of break up and think of whether I made up or not… Somewhere it says i haven’t but,…. It won’t stop there, when I dig deeper I will find myself that we both had that Couple telepathy every couple will have. We both had the thin glass that never made us to see the embarrassing habits of others. And we always weave a nice spider web around us, In which every thread will have her. This is a guy’s confession so don’t ask for girl stuff 8)

The restaurants we love the food we like the places we go the phone call we shall wait for. What else u need to know that u r in a relationship. And when u know it is sinking u only know one thing to do, that is to make the gal flow out of that web as a butterfly by helping and keeping urself in the same cocoon and in that pursuit u end up like a slippery spider caught up in its own web of love. While she flies off.. It is always easy for the transition as we help them many a times.

It is a SIN to be GUD and to be a SINNER u need to be TUFF and HARD. Every time a girl flies off they get better and beautiful. As a guy takes all the chaos and Tuff part of the game now.

When u make it easy for her she shows sympathy rather than love
Now, she has got plenty of reason to show that how lame u are compared to her new mate.

If u stay as a friend u will eventually pity on u as u r the one listening to her new mate’s Greatness. If u say anything that’s it u r the bad guy in the world.
What the hell??? Is this the low strength of the gals on earth is getting my nerves…and keeping them in superior position.

Now, coming to INDIA…

Gals have reasons:

Reason1: They need boy friend, Because all her friends have.

Reason2 : They need boy friend, Because all she needs is some guy to do work for her. [ya they are physically challenged and that’s why they need men. K I accept it is nature’s play]

Reason3: She needs a boy friend to share. But, still they want us to listen not reply.

Reason4: U can’t over ride their decision even after knowing the agony and pain in that.

Reason5: They respect their family a lotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt[as we dont care our family]

Reason6 : They love boy friend a lottttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

Now these two are conflicting ones.. Why means…
One day they will tell that they will do anything to live with u [guy].
On the other day they say that don’t scold my father he is the greatest person on earth.

Now, the problem is they are in a relation and now when u want to marry and u go home. Then get and do all the emotional atyachar…. In India she says my parents are not accepting so I can live without you. U will become VP singh in front of all. Not only that now people think u are immature, vulnerable and here comes loads loads of sympathy and u don’t know what to do.

She jus starts off another kick of flight of love and she says it was painful for her also but as she is the one who is holding all the pain of being the prestige holder of whole family and as she is emotionally weak and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…………. Ufffffffffffffff she has to go with that decision leaving u in troubled future of love life…

I being a gud guy always don’t know what to do when such a thing happens and today I don’t know why I am doin this also… I am E-formatting my thoughts [actually giving life to my thoughts thru words]… And after a severe struggle for 3 months which is still getting worse and worse and worse..

Decided to make the BUCKET LIST TO OVERCOME BREAK UP…….

1 She should also feel the pain. Go tell her. Not her or your parents and especially Friends….

2 Get all the gifts of what she gave to you burn them or use them till they break.[If it is really expensive keep it ;)]

3 Go to places where you love to eat… Don’t avoid any place… as you know that she will be there.

4 Ask your friends who know you both to break that ice glass sheet which keeps you to not notice her faults.

5 In a month are two go hit new one.. When you are out of a relation ship in india u will find that gals who were in the league to hit will be out married or committed to others…. They get married faster..

6 Usually many study to get a better husband.. as guys prefer that…

7 They say that u r such an idiot If u have been some IIM or IIT or VIT passed out I might have not been working with you. This makes everybody feel smallll….

8 When u make rules as boy friend they are customizable to them when a husband makes she obeys… good old autocracy…

9 When u ask why r u pursuing these professional studies they say “my dad told”,”I want to be marie curie[which is a lie very few mean it]”,”I will get a gud husband now a days guys prefer professional study gal[guys think that havin higher studies makes them better thinking and better judgemental but they are still the same when they don’t have zeal to pursue]”.

10 I got deviated… :P

11 Don’t spoil her future but let her know that how much u cared. By caring her close friend or the one whom she occasionally meets…

12 Don’t drink or booze go and work out to remove the extra flab and make her feel jealous for discarding u as a used airtel or hutch top up…

13 When she complains about the phone bill her would be is getting tell that how much u got when u used to call her. But, end with a joke..

14 The thing in INDIA is gals can easily fade off or escape from guys network range even the guys won’t help him reach her.. So, don’t break uppp jus cling around her like Dementors and slowly give the bitter taste..

15 Go to her marriage and with one of your gal friend. If u have made. It is difficult in INDIA as once gal breaks up in three months she will marry and fly away… that’s wy

16 So take ur friend atleast… It is not a western to sleep or sex with some of ur frnd and feel better.

17 here to make up another affair is daunting and guys don’t rush up… stay calm a wounded tigers hunt is better and gives better pay offs..

18 so, wait till u feel normal and it is difficult to use the same jokes or same methods u use to flirt with ur ex… as they may get u back nostalgia abt her…. But, see this as a new chance to renew urself into a better weapon with better techniques and wrong old techniques can be rectified and used again….

19 Don’t become a workaholic or saddy DEVD or Pittiable Devdas… just go out as it is new dawn and u r gonna run the same run along with the herd of HUNT into which new people joined but experience does matter dude…. So, wake for a better dawn and hunt till the dusk…

20 To avoid rush in your life Now, hit many boards with many darts. And now with so many problems around u to tackle u will feel better and ur mind is open again to make those decisions like what u want in a relation frm a gal… and how to get u wat u needed….

So, be hungry being wounded doesn’t make u eat rotten things… wait when the hunger is more and when the time is right when u come out of the web the spider in that is now can be a SPIDERMAN, BATMAN, or SUPERMAN[with underpants on the outerpants] IRONMAN……….. Remember everybody is a super hero and to discover themselves everybody has to go to undergrnd like

spidy to web
Cave to ironman
Planet something to superman
Training to batman
After all these when u r in on road…. For a hunt…………………………….. u will be ….………JAMES BOND.......………………………………………………………………….
<><><><><><><><><>Go for the KILL<><><><><><><><><><>><><><>>><>>><><>



If u hae reached till here read another one

A momentary Perpetuality

 
He woke up suddenly he didn’t have a scary dream or something. He had a petrifying dream about his loved ones and the colleagues in his career and the last thing he didn’t expect was his girl friend for whom he thought the best soul mate has found him had the role in the dream opposing him which he least wanted. His head was spinning which is because he was unable to sleep early and get the soundness in sleep till midnight. Now, he had his routine to do as like going for exercise.

He started his ride on his bike [oh he calls it like that but it is a bicycle]. He kicked off his journey in normal mode. He usually felt the cold waves hitting his face and today might be due to summer’s fast approaching days the fog which use to have the soothing effect was no more soothing and it was harsh and bringing him more thoughts about his dream and the turbulence that is existing in his life. Which he is trying to forget and it is forging back on him.

Now he crossed a small hill and suddenly the mist changed the color of surroundings which used to be green and lively. Now it’s just that mystique mist enveloped him and now he can’t see hills top which he just climbed down. As he started going deep into the paths of the hill which are made by his daily activities. He was able to go through that mystique mist without discomfort in his path finding and suddenly the mist happened to be chilling and cool and comforting.

Even the hotness which mad more deep gashes in to his memories and was having fun in the beginning of his ride was no more and his thoughts were clear and his mind and heart getting clearer by more thick enveloping of misty fog. And suddenly he had the tranquility of an eternity.

The sweat dripping from his nose on to his t-shirt never mattered and the small icky scratchy thing on his nose was not felt he was riding high on his bicycle with full throttle and also on his mind floating on soft soothing clouds, serene paddy fields.

Now things becoming clear he didn’t give a damn about the priorities which he has to set because every other is having, he forgot about the words he has to put in a sentence so that he can always win, he forgot the love from gal friend who plays power play and he closed his eyes and was still riding and like a free bird which had no hunger, no thirstiness, no hurry to get to nest, no fear of being hunted, nothing but a simple feeling of being sweated and touched by the coolness of mist.

Now he saw the eyes and heard the words and laughing of a gal who likes him, who talks to him without any power play and without any motives. Some may call it friendship, love or anything but her memories made him happy. It may be his perspective , his experience with people, his non-pertaining nature that is lingering with him now.

Suddenly the red blazing sun with all the heat tried to cut him back through this mode and put him back into troubled waters which wasn’t possible with the mist around him. Now he travelled farther ahead of the hill and climbing another one to look into the eyes of blazing red sun and wanted to know how is he going to take him back.

The mist still with him and as he rode up there was no blockade that can stop him and his thoughts. When he stood there and saw the over lining of ground beneath him shaking and chaotic and he on top still and serene. Waited for sun to come up and this time it was his turn so the sun lost and made a bow to his stature of mental ability and resided in the same heights of him stating his equality of his character to him. Now he turned back and now the sun guided him and everybody closed their eyes as the sun started raising high and up and he following track of his rays and his brightness is similar to suns which nobody can face. He started back with no more thinking or planning. Going back….to live like what he wanted….

His purgatory transience never occurred….in his life…………..