Spare time is not FREE!!!

Once upon a time when we were stuck by diseases like leprocy we were initialy started outcasting members who had it and even tried to burn people alive. This is similar to killing a snake or scorpion out of fear. There is nothing wrong in being precautious, But killing the people is not like killing animals. Humans will never turn back and bite you even after saving them like snakes.

And now when we look at that after coming so far from the times when it actually happened, we didn’t change at all. Now also we show the same level of discrepancy and hatred or fear towards that person. But the only difference is, now it is not leprosy it is AIDS.

Getting AIDS is not a big deal at all. Every day lot of people knowingly or unknowingly are being victimized. And the sad part is they don’t know that they are infected, unlike leprosy where the symptoms are visible.

Now we are so badly stigmatized in the ways we think. That people get HIV or AIDS because of sex. and everybody believes that it is bad to talk about sex in India. They never educate a citizen properly and they all end up in having their own assumptions based on the prejudices they built around them. That is directly related to the society around that person and the health of the society. That in most of the cases is in bad state.

Due to this HIV people are thrown out or else hidden. There is saying that “Family matters must be kept secret while the health related details to be shared”. But now we follow it vice-versa. When you are tested positive people wickedly or sarcastically say that you have got it because of your playboy status or what ever and those are the people who throw you out of their circles.

Once being a social outcast and we humans being social people the person will eventually succumb to depression and die rather than of disease. The generations are changing and we are becoming meaner rather than more emotionally bonded to each other. Running the mills where achieving something takes forever which never lets us achieve something for a person with whom we interact.

Show concern to your fellow beings. It can be cancer or aids or anything. a phone call or occasional visits at the cost of your salary or leaves will help their recovery and they will have good memories to cherish. Don’t let the world around you suffer and think that you are having a better life. Allocate time for people who are suffering. Having time for people and sharing and distributing love is not gonna hurt you. Stop running the mill help others and stop being a victim of societal stigmas.

What is correct with us?

We are always good with what is wrong with us or society and everything else. We are just not graceful to know how lucky we are, to have those special virtues to survive in the society.

How we tackled women empowerment is still an eye opener thing that I noticed. We still can accept women who earn less and as a wife. We [When I speak We it is society] are OK with our wives or sisters to earn more than us. Forget Earning we even let them Learn more than men. And always marry them to a guy who Learned and Earned a lot than them.

Marriage is such a soul mate thing now a days. Now we don’t have dowry at all, we have is token of love and affection. Arranged marriages which used to bitter business deals in olden days, now sugar coated. How Sweet !!

Shopping is a nice thing now a days. We shop for lot of reasons and we do show case that stuff in our homes to everyone. Similarly we get married and showcase each other for a year or so then get fed up or succumb to the partner’s choice or better have kids with no adoptions but helping in keeping the nation young.

Surprised to see women not celebrating birthdays because their husband is not there, I don’t get it?? Your beloved ne is not there that doesn’t meant that you need to sit and mourn or what??? You should have celebrated your past 20 or 25 birthdays without your husband, that’s why I understand this mourning is acceptable.

Emotional need and emotional baggage go in tandem, You should carry less so the need will be less. We always contradict the above statement, as we are from old school. How emotional we are to carry the dead weight. We believe in traditions for sure.

People when they marry, how unbiased they think, I still can’t imagine. The height and weight always matters, not in knowledge for sure. Standards should be met that are set by society or else you are filled with guilt.

People work more and earn the same as inflation is high. Now lot of people don’t know what to do when they are retired which is weird. Some still work rather than doing pursuing something. How down to earth we are. I here by to conclude that machines can never over take us. As we are machines. Now I Can sleep properly that the thought of not being ruled by machines.

We always embrace the change by deceiving it. By never changing in the ideals, but by always changing the appearance of the stands we take. How thoughtful and imaginative we are.

Adopt a kid if you have one. Or else adopt two and avoid having one. Believe in your gut feeling and I am not talking about you narcissists’ because I know what reply you are going to give.

My First Dabba

In school it was great to open dabba’s during lunch. So much of sharing and fun it used to be and no regret to eat as it was always stuffed by mom or grandma or aunt. Suddenly the dabbas vanished from my life and replaced by plates which I used to carry in hostels. Though I didn’t notice the change as I was excited by the variety of food I used to get.

Sometimes I make fun of people who say they miss the homely food. I never thought normal people have food at home or eat from the dabbas during lunch. I always thought they were tamed. Eating outside used to be wild cat hunt. Though it is not hunt in actual reality.

From my Intermediate studies I never tasted good food for lunch or to put it in other words never tasted dabba again and always stayed untamed for long time. After ten years of eating rogue food, and evolving into a better cook, never thought of taking a dabba for lunch.

I am used to eat food with dis-interest or anxiety rather than love I used to have. Today when I take a dabba to my office I am feeling weird. I am still eating with the same loss of enthusiasm I had till yesterday. Feeling depressed to eat out of the dabba. Then I figured it out why was I so over reacting even though having good food which I prepared. Food is tasty that is not the issue.

I am missing the USP of dabba concept. I never knew what was inside it even though I knew the items made at home when I was in school. That anticipation used to keep me up and running to my dabba and eat from it. Now I am not having that. And every time I think of the dabba and the content in it. I knew that I am not being able to taste anything else on the canteen menu. This is the same feeling you have when you are engaged to a person and know that you are going to be with the same person though it is for good, in case of dabba, as you get better food everytime you open. In case of a person it’s your choice.

But, here I am missing the USP of dabba which is !!!SURPRISE!!!. Taking up responsibility of what you eat, and knowing that you are going to eat what you cook, is a great deal of responsibility. You have to be prepared for that. And I am prepared as it is for good so will be sticking to it. I am going to open the dabba and eat. Now I am taming myself by opening the dabba.I am no more a wild cat in jungle. I am a lost tamed cat in concrete jungle. Hoping the dabba brings more taste and love.

Let the Dabbas rule.

Identity crisis

All of us know about the zebra in Madagascar. It was happy, crazy one among all the characters who want to try something new. Then suddenly when they visit Africa in the sequel, it faces a identity crisis and it can’t stand the zebra crowd any more being a zebra. Though initially it was happy to see it’s family members slowly the fun fades off. As it is no more having a noticeable identity to brag about.

Most of the Human beings are no different from the zebra herd we have seen in the movie. They all are happy to be with their family but still want not to lose their identity. Now they crave for that extra attention that is what helps most of the people to excel in careers, perform difficult tasks not to please themselves but to quench the urge of being noticed and special.

What they don’t know is eventually all are doing the same thing. So, that they are always in the lime light. [This concept is generalized because most of us follow the same pattern. And exceptions are there but they are not considered for making rules].

Things you notice when people face such crisis of identity and start working towards nullifying it are:

Like having a caller back tune.

Initially having a ring back tune used to be the one that helped you to stand apart from the crowd. Now the difference in having a nice ring back tone and having a weird ring back tone makes you stand apart.

The problem is nobody can never be satisfied with what they have and the mirrors they see themselves are others opinions about them which are prejudiced. People can’t take up with the versatility for long time so eventually they will go back or withdraw and announce that as a new trend.

That’s why until or unless in a relationship if two persons don’t have a strong common point to share they can never stay together. The only way now a day’s keeping a couple together is social pressures rather than the common interests they have. It doesn’t mean that they should share same things from salad to sheets. It is the one strong point that has major share in their lives which keeps the people and bonds together. They may drift apart for some time because of identity crisis, but the strength of the commonality among them keeps the relation alive.

That’s why in our hindu culture [here I am not mentioning only this religion because I know only about this :D] a couple is separated in a year for some duration so that they both know the value of each other and that will keep the relationship health fully high. So, in this period their identity crisis is nullified being separate and they both know the value of each other and respect others uniqueness.

Hope we shall see a better trend in future.

Appealing to EGO—Is Love?

Having aloo paratha with no oil served hot with tomato achar is a delight with a hot tea beside. While eating my mind just flipped through few movies, which led me to initiate the thought process and start the conversation. With my roomie who eventually is the victim. :P of my weird thoughts.

I said that appealing to one’s ego will be the only reason and the cause to fall in love. Or to put it simple, when your ego gets satisfied then you fall in love. It sounded weird to me in the beginning.

Case 1:

Assume you have a guy/girl and you are flirting with him/her and he/she is comfortable with you around and you are trying to impress him/her and which is eventually making him/her comfortable. And now that person being happy in the comfort zone and never leaves. Suddenly one day a person can be opposite sex or the same one, shows up with their attitude.

And as this new person’s attitude is so different from the gang he/she hang’s out. Now, being bored after prolonged stay in the comfort zone, the guy/girl feels that he/she is neglected. So, they now to satisfy their ego, they go around this new person.

And when anybody is doing this they feel the satisfaction by seeing the change in the person’s attitude and growing interest on him/her. This being new to this guy feels that he/she is made for her/him. They propose and live happily ever after.

Conclusion: To be in love you needed to be satisfied with your ego and be at right time in one’s life when they are bored.

Here the ego makes us fall in love.

Case 2:

You both are friends from childhood and living your life happily and felt that you will be happier if you continue this for ever through out your life. So, those two decided to fall in love and continue their journey and they lived happily ever after.

Conclusion: Why can’t they try others? Why did they only stick to themselves? What made them do that? The answer would be the fear of loss. Something they can’t take it. They feel that they both make the better match and don’t depart.

It is like a little cub being in zoo and never taught hunting can never do hunting. So, the fear of not knowing to get food makes it to stay in the zoo. The same logic applies to the above stated category of people too…

Here for those the pain of not changing is less than the pain of changing.

From here me and my roomie argued that as I was only considering hypothetical things and what I talk is bull shit.. Which many may accept also…. :D

Case 3:

Now the third type is the people who are in dire need of emotional support or anything. Some times when you are wounded all you search is for a shrine. But, shrine can’t be a home. Home becomes a shrine. But, shrine can never become a home.

Based on the above statement what I try to pull out is, when you are in need of something, and somebody provides you with that. You will be thankful and can return their help in future in whatever form they needed rather than that what do us eventually do is to go fall in love with them and continue our lives with them.

As mentioned earlier the need is temporary one have to evaluate options before going in for a commitment. Being thankful is not love. And instead of repaying we end up committed to wrong person ruining both lives.

Conclusion: When you are out of relationship you weave everything of your life with that person and when that person quits you don’t want to hang in vacuum so you catch hold of a helping and live there.

Here the fear of not having anything leads them to fall in love.

Case 4:

As I am not writing a book anything as of now, I will end with this last case. You will be married which is arranged. What one does is to adjust and love the person and it will be same from the other side too. All you have to do is chill and carry on with what you are doing.

Now suddenly one day you find a perfect match for you and you will be more than happy with that person. But, you can’t go with that person as you are entangled in a bond. After pursuing hard I came to know that few are willing to go if the married person is ok with it. And many won’t leave the partner at all if they had kids.

And many condemned the concept that perfect person for me is an absurdity and it will not be there as nobody is perfect. So, my wife or husband is what or whom I love and live with.

Conclusion:

Fear of being blamed by society.

Fear of being not loyal.

Fear of uncertainty. [Assuming that the new person may leave like you who left your family]

Fear of loss of belief.

There is nothing wrong in falling in love with anybody. If that person is in love with another and they both are happy. We shouldn’t have to interfere. Have to just stay on the beaches by not boarding to sail for life with them. Because those two’s egos are appealing to each other.

Emotional need, fear, and many more lead us to fall in love and everybody has their own reason to be in love. And there is nothing wrong with that. Just stick to what ever you do. Once done be happy with it. And stop regretting. That will help us all to lead better lives and have faith on our fellow beings.

Hope this was helpful to judge my title.

Shopping is a Stress buster

Shopping is not the fag end of life any more. It is the motivation; it is the essence and need of the life. It is the only one everybody can rely on as it will be always there for you whether you are sad or happy or even if the fur flies with someone u love or icky or what ever your emotional state is. The only one that is the savior for you to settle your flying feathery emotions is shopping.

Therefore one can say it is the ultimate stress buster. So, when you don’t shop for a month, don’t tell me that you are free from stress. Try this once and let me know. Shop for your whole month and stay home every weekend and do nothing except watching tv or what ever you want. Try to stay not even buying a gift for yourself or for your friend on his/her special occasion. Even if something very urgent and needy comes up like medicines ask your friend to get that but you never shop.

After a month you carve so much to go to a mall and buy what all you want and tell me that how happy one can be. Why is it so great to shop? Why is that we always work so hard to buy something? Or end up paying for what we have bought. The first answer comes into your mind is that for needs, then sometimes comfort, then sometimes luxury.

And many times we don’t recognize that even beyond all this the main reason would be stress, guilt or the words like those. To satisfy the ego we usually shop. To follow somebody’s lead in fashion we end up buying. I am not telling that buying clothes for every festival is wrong. I am telling that whether needed or not we buy for those occasions.

Why so? The gospel truth is that we always work to buy something and once bought the tv says that something better is there then we go again and buy. Again go to work. Then again buy something because your friend or neighbor had. Sometimes to feel yourself better as the person you admire you buy things that he wears or he suggests in ads. Again go to work. When you buy something every body in your family will be happy. And for that we all wanted to board the gravy train.

Now that your whole family is happy on these new purchases you go back and buy. We make kids to do the same again by indulging them in the materialistic things. When the whole world is working—then feeling bad about something—then going for shopping. And this is going on and on again.

Here I am left with nothing…. To write much… so it ends here…. Hope the shopping stress buster won’t suck you down… and if you don’t shop, don’t get stressed///

Why people get hurt???????????

Because they love, or because they care, or because they show concern, or because they are well wishing for their beloved ones life, or because they need them and they are not with them, or because they expect something in return…………???????????????????????????????????

“Clueless and agonizing” is situation, after the recent developments in life.

I was questioned by my heart alias mind; it was jus runnin the same question again and again like a loop runnin infinitively in a C compiler. Feel good factors are no more seen from the loved person when u get hurt and u need a lot of time and lot of thinking to compromise urself and to achieve at a better solution to love them again to care them again. But still it haunts, those moments when they made u feel bad and they will come up to surface when u are sad again by getting hurt in the process of loving your loved one.

Whats the problem???????????????????

You love some body which means, you make them happy, you laugh with them for the idiotic jokes never heard off, and you feel that you are the soul mate, but why slowly same moments fade away. Because initially you were enjoying suddenly something or someone influences you and you are never able to enjoy those jokes or enjoy those moments with your beloved ones and in the end what you were expecting will be no more happy for you and you need new level of love or caring as they are bored to u.

Why because they knew in all ways, so they do care for your good and welfare and they will change themselves for making you happy and now you won’t like it and you fall for small temporary happiness’s that come from false peoples and their false intentions. So, now you are caught up with these new advancements and start neglecting the loved ones if you are not committed you will just switch for that new one and leave the old one, if you are married you will end up hurting them, if you are friend you will just start avoiding them.

So it comes to this that humans want to have the thing depending on their character and character is usually influenced by people, who are again influenced by somebody. It means it’s a circle of influential people in this world. Human ain’t made his/her own character/personality, he/she always imitates somebody or something that is comforting.

Its pretty clear now, for example family avoids all the things that hurt their emotions or hindered them in their growth, and they want to avoid their children to not to do that and out of curiosity and one will do the same thing and what one thinks that is comfortable and one will never learn from others mistakes and try to excel. They want everything to be known on their own to keep them busy on smaller things of life and to be stuck up there very few come out of this.

So, similarly when you love somebody and you want to see them excel but they never did because they want things differently. And you are not able to do meet their expectations and you end up getting hurt. You may think that sometimes scolding or being harsh will help you to push them towards the right way or path but they will never do that because now you are pushing them which is against to their will.

What can you do or that person can do???????????? Except getting hurt and staying alone or opting for break up or this world is made so cruelly beautiful that here only survival of fittest happens and even in this war of concern and love also the fittest and strongest one wins. Letting others become their slaves and in the end others end up changed as there is no other go…as they live for love.

In a war you may loose and you may war again with regained strength, but in war of love if you loose you are hurt, devastated, abandoned and can never re-war again to win the battle. And you never actually think of winning, actually you felt that you both make a the exact perfect recipe of life so you never thought of announcing war and winning, you thought of making your loved ones win in every aspect of life, but in the end you are the one who forced them to win and who felt you are pushing much and getting wrong perspective of your intention they leave you hurting you and leaving you alone in this world of LOVE.

To conclude U can just watch your beloved ones win or loose and you can be the part of their emotions which are controlled by others…. So in love there does never winning and loosing its just sharing…….and thriving to co-exist. Try not to let ur life controlled or influenced by others emotions, ur life ur love ur emotions are the ones which stay with u so be loyal with them and never surface wrong emotions due to temporary discomfort, or temporary elatedness. Have fun in being get hurt by ur love and hurting ur love. That’s it.