Now i knw wat to do?

Now I understood that why am I watching all the movies on the first day first releases.

Then suddenly it dawned to me that I was in search of solace which I never found after my break up. And was searching for some kind of answer or justification, which can provide me an answer and that may help me to move on. And it is evident that movies always have happy endings and you will never find an answer there. All I end up is more wounded as every movie had a happy ending even the more realistic ones.

And my guess always used to be the best as hero wins in the end by winning hearts or dies by winning hearts. Now I am in a state of awful regret of why I didn’t take that extra step. Even if it wouldn’t have worked I must have given a try. Why I didn’t try??? And now being socialized online I am always haunted or found easily by the people who were supposed to stay far.

Being wounded I am in need of a shrine, which I am yet to find. That makes me desperate and now finding shrines in every other person and knowing that it is not the one I am confused and lost. God all I need is a light. Provide me and show me the path.

And I suddenly came to know that the last eighteen months I wasted which is costing me a lot. I am aged and girls and boys being 4/5 ratio it is tuff to find a lonely one outside. Even if I find she is not spreading the magic needed. What am I now desperate bachelor now going home and asking for an arranged marriage.

Where chances are too bad, as one have to please aunty, uncle and relatives rather than daughter. Everybody checks your pay check and BMI. So they can have better off springs. Is that all we are living for. Is that the only thing we worry for? Why can’t people believe on others? Is believing tuff or the fear of unable to handle when belief is broken is avoiding people to believe.

Now I am at the cross roads where I took a decision to stop watching movies on first days. Hope I may stick to it.