GODs [Good Old Days]

Today was one such day when I have decided to go back to my old and most lovable hobby, which is none other than blogging. Then I was searching for some good topic which I don’t do, but then it stuck to me that when I was in search of a topic I remembered how spontaneous I used to be to when I used to blog.

There was bryan adams summer of 69 playing in background so, this led me to say to myself that “those good old days”. Then started wondering, when you say those were the good old days, what did you meant exactly? Does these days you are living now are not so good to cherish about or the days you are living are way better or these are the best days you are having compared to old days. When you have said “GODs” they included the most embarrassing moment to most heart-warming ones.

Such varying emotional experiences are always happening. So why can’t we say or at least feel that we are having a good time. In general most people when they use the phrase “GODs” they never cherish their current day scenarios, sometimes they are worried about the current ones and dwell in the past saying that they were good compared to now. Again after few years they turn back and say those were the best days because of someone or something, which are currently not so glittering. Even in the worst conditions people always have something to feel good about their existing scenarios and that feeling good about something makes the days good.

This flawed system of ours, where we compare ourselves to feel better is always complicating rather than allowing us to savor the moments where we live. So, all it needs is a slight change in perspective and a little insight into ourselves to see things as they are and how better we are. Keep smiling to make every day a best one. So that you can turn back in life and say Good Old Days in faith that now you are having the best.

Identity crisis

All of us know about the zebra in Madagascar. It was happy, crazy one among all the characters who want to try something new. Then suddenly when they visit Africa in the sequel, it faces a identity crisis and it can’t stand the zebra crowd any more being a zebra. Though initially it was happy to see it’s family members slowly the fun fades off. As it is no more having a noticeable identity to brag about.

Most of the Human beings are no different from the zebra herd we have seen in the movie. They all are happy to be with their family but still want not to lose their identity. Now they crave for that extra attention that is what helps most of the people to excel in careers, perform difficult tasks not to please themselves but to quench the urge of being noticed and special.

What they don’t know is eventually all are doing the same thing. So, that they are always in the lime light. [This concept is generalized because most of us follow the same pattern. And exceptions are there but they are not considered for making rules].

Things you notice when people face such crisis of identity and start working towards nullifying it are:

Like having a caller back tune.

Initially having a ring back tune used to be the one that helped you to stand apart from the crowd. Now the difference in having a nice ring back tone and having a weird ring back tone makes you stand apart.

The problem is nobody can never be satisfied with what they have and the mirrors they see themselves are others opinions about them which are prejudiced. People can’t take up with the versatility for long time so eventually they will go back or withdraw and announce that as a new trend.

That’s why until or unless in a relationship if two persons don’t have a strong common point to share they can never stay together. The only way now a day’s keeping a couple together is social pressures rather than the common interests they have. It doesn’t mean that they should share same things from salad to sheets. It is the one strong point that has major share in their lives which keeps the people and bonds together. They may drift apart for some time because of identity crisis, but the strength of the commonality among them keeps the relation alive.

That’s why in our hindu culture [here I am not mentioning only this religion because I know only about this :D] a couple is separated in a year for some duration so that they both know the value of each other and that will keep the relationship health fully high. So, in this period their identity crisis is nullified being separate and they both know the value of each other and respect others uniqueness.

Hope we shall see a better trend in future.

The Fugly Society

Screw the castes that induce cultures, which are formed for the sake of covering their inferiority complex to exceed other caste in some way or other. And these things come out in true form when they do the search for the bride or groom hunt. These bloody people speak everything from helping poor or inter-caste marriages and laud those persons for their guts to break free from this vicious circle.

When it comes to them they won’t do the same thing which they appreciate. All they do is to try to find a better launching pad for career and life in the form of marriage and a secured life for them. Is this the reason people look forward to find another companion.

All these people should watch this Invention of Lying. I have been watching ads in a matrimony, there people’s criteria are weird enuf to get stunned or dumbfounded. I used to read better things in those funny matrimonial e-mails that used to come as forwards.

The new criteria are:

All my family is well educated and is from iits, Harvard and Wharton we are looking for someone in similar lines and good looking. [Wow this whole family has been breeding iitians it seems. Once when they draw the family tree all the fruits and branches will be iits I think. And god damn good looking somebody please define this]

I am a good-looking person, I luv greenery I have passport and driving license and I am ready to fly off. [What are you? All you want to do is escape from the poor back ground of yourself and run away]

My kid has won lot of accolades medals and stood first from the LKG till the end of the career. [What does this criterion meant?]

We hail from a family name of Blah,Blah,Blah. So… Blah blah blah…. We need blah blah blah. [People still living on the name of families. If you have achieved something your name will be enuf rather than ur families.]

Oh my god… Bloody Indian economic basic root is flawed and made everybody to earn money. Now all see money as the high priority one and they think being in IIT IIM or any branded college will help to settle life. They provide knowledge not money when they will understand. Money can’t buy everything [first of all to say this, I should have enough money but I can still say it. That’s the best part of it.]

I don’t know still might be I am offensive this is what I think. Everybody sucks big time. This society sucks real bad. So find a better sucker and settle down. Never try to change anything because it is difficult to stand against.

And stop being stereotypes and make such deals while marrying some one of.

Now i knw wat to do?

Now I understood that why am I watching all the movies on the first day first releases.

Then suddenly it dawned to me that I was in search of solace which I never found after my break up. And was searching for some kind of answer or justification, which can provide me an answer and that may help me to move on. And it is evident that movies always have happy endings and you will never find an answer there. All I end up is more wounded as every movie had a happy ending even the more realistic ones.

And my guess always used to be the best as hero wins in the end by winning hearts or dies by winning hearts. Now I am in a state of awful regret of why I didn’t take that extra step. Even if it wouldn’t have worked I must have given a try. Why I didn’t try??? And now being socialized online I am always haunted or found easily by the people who were supposed to stay far.

Being wounded I am in need of a shrine, which I am yet to find. That makes me desperate and now finding shrines in every other person and knowing that it is not the one I am confused and lost. God all I need is a light. Provide me and show me the path.

And I suddenly came to know that the last eighteen months I wasted which is costing me a lot. I am aged and girls and boys being 4/5 ratio it is tuff to find a lonely one outside. Even if I find she is not spreading the magic needed. What am I now desperate bachelor now going home and asking for an arranged marriage.

Where chances are too bad, as one have to please aunty, uncle and relatives rather than daughter. Everybody checks your pay check and BMI. So they can have better off springs. Is that all we are living for. Is that the only thing we worry for? Why can’t people believe on others? Is believing tuff or the fear of unable to handle when belief is broken is avoiding people to believe.

Now I am at the cross roads where I took a decision to stop watching movies on first days. Hope I may stick to it.

I am angry..

The weather is beautiful and with drizzling I felt like I was on cloud nine. I am in a auto going to get my bike back then it happened. The auto wallah started arguing that I gave him wrong address and he stopped some half a kilometer ahead of the destination then I I have deducted twenty from promised one twenty rupees and gave him hundred.

Then he said he won’t accept it and started making a big issue and shouting all derogatory words. And eventually hold my collar and pulled. My surge of anger is known to only few and they still fear it. My grand ma used to say that control your anger and don’t do anything as with my personality I may kill the person.

If he might have asked more politely I might have given more but that was unfair. I hold my tongue saying anything because I wanted to make a difference between a civilized person and an uncivilized guy. Then he almost spitted on me twice. My anger reached such a peak that at least I might have called police but my senses stopped working.

With a outburst of anger I just walked while the guy still shouting all I am left with me was anger and it subsided after thirty minutes.

Now I was thinking what made me stop to react there. Is that my sanity? Or Is that my jane do attitude? Or did I fear about my status in public whom I don’t even know? or did I think that I won’t be able to tackle a guy as I think I am weak? Or Is that I don’t give a damn about such an insect? Or Is that fear that auto wallah’s have big gangs to come and beat me as they know my place? Or I usually don’t care about winning an argument with people of no use was that the reason?

But after waking up also when I remember him handling me rough my blood boils. I know he waits here only near my house at the stand. I am feeling like going and complaining on him to police at the junction or I can hit him properly. But I am not doing that. I don’t have an answer if you ask why?

I need an apology or a proper reason for his behavior yesterday. I made my temper to go calm thinking that he is in some turbulence or frustration. But, I ain’t a saint to understand that I am still suffering from anger. To err is human and if to forgive is divine is true then how can I forgive without being asked for an apology. I stepped aside and took a passive part in the argument even when he went on giving bad words. Why didn’t I hit him… why why whyw whyw.. being normal doesn’t make me anything but turbulence. I am holding my fort tight to stop over flowing of anger on any other person. I am suffering..

Is this the system that made me react like that? Am I being programmed from my childhood to fear rather than to go ahead and take a proper action? When I am in anger no sense of mine works so I usually run away from that state or the situation. But this is still burning inside. What should I do?

I am still anger……….i don’t know what I am looking for by writing this either sympathy or concern or a proper suggestion I still don’t know… I feel like I a dust speck, more fragile.

Hot water cools down faster than Cold water

I am very fond of Landmark it got lot of books and so I am used to it in Bangalore forum. And as I being a semi book-worm I always buy books there. And the cover which they give always had nice quotes and facts stated on it. And sometimes my family used to spend around one hour discussing them which is a sign to show that landmark succeeded in advertising.

But this is not about the marketing or landmark this is all about a quote on it. There was always a quote that made me go perplexed it is “The hot water always cools down faster, rather than the cool water”. I wondered that what is so much special in this. Always something that is high above the normal temperature tries to retain to the normal state so it always have to lose lots of heat before at higher rate as it is in hyper state. While the cold water is always near or at normal temperature. So it doesn’t have to lose at higher rate.

And this argument keeps on going and also got a name called “Mpemba effect”. You can find lot of things related to this online. Here the point is yesterday I got a tricky appraisal from my manager. That human being said that I am a better person in the recently joined group, but not the best. I might have said No, that doesn’t mean that I said yes, but I have said something which is not what I wanted to say. I suddenly had the urge to make myself the best. So didn’t say anything.

Like water, few phenomena are inexplicable. And generalizing the standards for all liquids is kind of insane. That is what it shows. The best or the better are always relative. As I always mention the world is relative. Relativity helps you to put ahead or behind of the crowd. But, it never helps you to see the whole you as a separate entity standing alone. You have to excel in all the possible ways to make yourself more equipped with knowledge. Not with trophies or awards or appraisals.

In this path of appraising one has to compare. And I hate being compared. Because at school you are compared and at college you are being compared and at grading you are being compared and it continues. I am not out from theater after watching 3 idiots. But, I believe in this funda from long time. A person’s value is never measured and cannot be. I getting praised don’t mean that somebody is bad.

Like the water everybody has their own ways of cooling down. And no single theory can help them to compare. It is like comparing oranges and apples or comparing an archer to a swordsman. But when you need vitamins apples and oranges help to maintain balance neither can be neglected and in war also same neither swordsman nor archer has to be neglected.

That one statement is not gonna change anything. But, I do love to quench the thirst of knowing the unknowing rather than for appraisals. The whole write up seems to be like a speech at some spiritual thing. I am not a saint or evil but I am pure human and this is the way I believe to live.