My First Dabba

In school it was great to open dabba’s during lunch. So much of sharing and fun it used to be and no regret to eat as it was always stuffed by mom or grandma or aunt. Suddenly the dabbas vanished from my life and replaced by plates which I used to carry in hostels. Though I didn’t notice the change as I was excited by the variety of food I used to get.

Sometimes I make fun of people who say they miss the homely food. I never thought normal people have food at home or eat from the dabbas during lunch. I always thought they were tamed. Eating outside used to be wild cat hunt. Though it is not hunt in actual reality.

From my Intermediate studies I never tasted good food for lunch or to put it in other words never tasted dabba again and always stayed untamed for long time. After ten years of eating rogue food, and evolving into a better cook, never thought of taking a dabba for lunch.

I am used to eat food with dis-interest or anxiety rather than love I used to have. Today when I take a dabba to my office I am feeling weird. I am still eating with the same loss of enthusiasm I had till yesterday. Feeling depressed to eat out of the dabba. Then I figured it out why was I so over reacting even though having good food which I prepared. Food is tasty that is not the issue.

I am missing the USP of dabba concept. I never knew what was inside it even though I knew the items made at home when I was in school. That anticipation used to keep me up and running to my dabba and eat from it. Now I am not having that. And every time I think of the dabba and the content in it. I knew that I am not being able to taste anything else on the canteen menu. This is the same feeling you have when you are engaged to a person and know that you are going to be with the same person though it is for good, in case of dabba, as you get better food everytime you open. In case of a person it’s your choice.

But, here I am missing the USP of dabba which is !!!SURPRISE!!!. Taking up responsibility of what you eat, and knowing that you are going to eat what you cook, is a great deal of responsibility. You have to be prepared for that. And I am prepared as it is for good so will be sticking to it. I am going to open the dabba and eat. Now I am taming myself by opening the dabba.I am no more a wild cat in jungle. I am a lost tamed cat in concrete jungle. Hoping the dabba brings more taste and love.

Let the Dabbas rule.

I am angry..

The weather is beautiful and with drizzling I felt like I was on cloud nine. I am in a auto going to get my bike back then it happened. The auto wallah started arguing that I gave him wrong address and he stopped some half a kilometer ahead of the destination then I I have deducted twenty from promised one twenty rupees and gave him hundred.

Then he said he won’t accept it and started making a big issue and shouting all derogatory words. And eventually hold my collar and pulled. My surge of anger is known to only few and they still fear it. My grand ma used to say that control your anger and don’t do anything as with my personality I may kill the person.

If he might have asked more politely I might have given more but that was unfair. I hold my tongue saying anything because I wanted to make a difference between a civilized person and an uncivilized guy. Then he almost spitted on me twice. My anger reached such a peak that at least I might have called police but my senses stopped working.

With a outburst of anger I just walked while the guy still shouting all I am left with me was anger and it subsided after thirty minutes.

Now I was thinking what made me stop to react there. Is that my sanity? Or Is that my jane do attitude? Or did I fear about my status in public whom I don’t even know? or did I think that I won’t be able to tackle a guy as I think I am weak? Or Is that I don’t give a damn about such an insect? Or Is that fear that auto wallah’s have big gangs to come and beat me as they know my place? Or I usually don’t care about winning an argument with people of no use was that the reason?

But after waking up also when I remember him handling me rough my blood boils. I know he waits here only near my house at the stand. I am feeling like going and complaining on him to police at the junction or I can hit him properly. But I am not doing that. I don’t have an answer if you ask why?

I need an apology or a proper reason for his behavior yesterday. I made my temper to go calm thinking that he is in some turbulence or frustration. But, I ain’t a saint to understand that I am still suffering from anger. To err is human and if to forgive is divine is true then how can I forgive without being asked for an apology. I stepped aside and took a passive part in the argument even when he went on giving bad words. Why didn’t I hit him… why why whyw whyw.. being normal doesn’t make me anything but turbulence. I am holding my fort tight to stop over flowing of anger on any other person. I am suffering..

Is this the system that made me react like that? Am I being programmed from my childhood to fear rather than to go ahead and take a proper action? When I am in anger no sense of mine works so I usually run away from that state or the situation. But this is still burning inside. What should I do?

I am still anger……….i don’t know what I am looking for by writing this either sympathy or concern or a proper suggestion I still don’t know… I feel like I a dust speck, more fragile.

Conflits

The biggest temptation is to settle for too little.
vs
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.

How do you say what is little which is big? If one get answer for this they can go for above statements

Hot water cools down faster than Cold water

I am very fond of Landmark it got lot of books and so I am used to it in Bangalore forum. And as I being a semi book-worm I always buy books there. And the cover which they give always had nice quotes and facts stated on it. And sometimes my family used to spend around one hour discussing them which is a sign to show that landmark succeeded in advertising.

But this is not about the marketing or landmark this is all about a quote on it. There was always a quote that made me go perplexed it is “The hot water always cools down faster, rather than the cool water”. I wondered that what is so much special in this. Always something that is high above the normal temperature tries to retain to the normal state so it always have to lose lots of heat before at higher rate as it is in hyper state. While the cold water is always near or at normal temperature. So it doesn’t have to lose at higher rate.

And this argument keeps on going and also got a name called “Mpemba effect”. You can find lot of things related to this online. Here the point is yesterday I got a tricky appraisal from my manager. That human being said that I am a better person in the recently joined group, but not the best. I might have said No, that doesn’t mean that I said yes, but I have said something which is not what I wanted to say. I suddenly had the urge to make myself the best. So didn’t say anything.

Like water, few phenomena are inexplicable. And generalizing the standards for all liquids is kind of insane. That is what it shows. The best or the better are always relative. As I always mention the world is relative. Relativity helps you to put ahead or behind of the crowd. But, it never helps you to see the whole you as a separate entity standing alone. You have to excel in all the possible ways to make yourself more equipped with knowledge. Not with trophies or awards or appraisals.

In this path of appraising one has to compare. And I hate being compared. Because at school you are compared and at college you are being compared and at grading you are being compared and it continues. I am not out from theater after watching 3 idiots. But, I believe in this funda from long time. A person’s value is never measured and cannot be. I getting praised don’t mean that somebody is bad.

Like the water everybody has their own ways of cooling down. And no single theory can help them to compare. It is like comparing oranges and apples or comparing an archer to a swordsman. But when you need vitamins apples and oranges help to maintain balance neither can be neglected and in war also same neither swordsman nor archer has to be neglected.

That one statement is not gonna change anything. But, I do love to quench the thirst of knowing the unknowing rather than for appraisals. The whole write up seems to be like a speech at some spiritual thing. I am not a saint or evil but I am pure human and this is the way I believe to live.

Shopping is a Stress buster

Shopping is not the fag end of life any more. It is the motivation; it is the essence and need of the life. It is the only one everybody can rely on as it will be always there for you whether you are sad or happy or even if the fur flies with someone u love or icky or what ever your emotional state is. The only one that is the savior for you to settle your flying feathery emotions is shopping.

Therefore one can say it is the ultimate stress buster. So, when you don’t shop for a month, don’t tell me that you are free from stress. Try this once and let me know. Shop for your whole month and stay home every weekend and do nothing except watching tv or what ever you want. Try to stay not even buying a gift for yourself or for your friend on his/her special occasion. Even if something very urgent and needy comes up like medicines ask your friend to get that but you never shop.

After a month you carve so much to go to a mall and buy what all you want and tell me that how happy one can be. Why is it so great to shop? Why is that we always work so hard to buy something? Or end up paying for what we have bought. The first answer comes into your mind is that for needs, then sometimes comfort, then sometimes luxury.

And many times we don’t recognize that even beyond all this the main reason would be stress, guilt or the words like those. To satisfy the ego we usually shop. To follow somebody’s lead in fashion we end up buying. I am not telling that buying clothes for every festival is wrong. I am telling that whether needed or not we buy for those occasions.

Why so? The gospel truth is that we always work to buy something and once bought the tv says that something better is there then we go again and buy. Again go to work. Then again buy something because your friend or neighbor had. Sometimes to feel yourself better as the person you admire you buy things that he wears or he suggests in ads. Again go to work. When you buy something every body in your family will be happy. And for that we all wanted to board the gravy train.

Now that your whole family is happy on these new purchases you go back and buy. We make kids to do the same again by indulging them in the materialistic things. When the whole world is working—then feeling bad about something—then going for shopping. And this is going on and on again.

Here I am left with nothing…. To write much… so it ends here…. Hope the shopping stress buster won’t suck you down… and if you don’t shop, don’t get stressed///

I don't understand....

Few days ago I was at the Autoshow’09 in Hyderabad. I was quite puzzled with the crowd there as they were no different crowd at normal exhibitions. There were lots of counters with lot of automobiles. The vintage section, the Volvo, the Honda, the sudha motors section which are the few of many that were empty all went straight to BMW and Benz section to see the convertibles and other models of them.

At one point of time It was so much crowded that people were shouting and the organizers are kind of requesting on the speaker set to move all out of those two sections so that others can have some time to look upon them.

When I was kid I was mostly excited to see a car and go for a ride in the car. Might be that kind of fascination is no more. I am little tickled with the show and the automobiles there. Which struck to me in the very beginning it self.

Owing or watching an expensive Car on the show leaving all other models is something like watching a model walking the ramp leaving the girl/guy beside u who love u and believes u so much. As the car watching is similar to that they knew that they can’t afford it to buy or even if they get it as a gift maintaining it is a daunting task still they carve for watching them.

They the cars are nothing much from a pile of metal molded into a shape which helps u to travel. Few makers might have perfected it. The BMW and Benz were not even allowing people to stand or touch or feel their car. Which is making them special and people are carving for them.

What is the deal? I still don’t understand??? Why people entangle in so much small and simple… and make things complicated. The behavior of BMW and Benz people wasn’t so friendly. It is a disappointment. They are selling and they don’t know how to deal with the customers….

And people love to take pictures beside cars for their virtual communities. Hope things and people’s realization of truth happens…….

The difference between words Friendship and Love…

One day as usual one of my friend who is into a little turbulence in his life messaged me to know my take on this topic:

Q: “Is Friendship so feeble a thing that it has to end sometime and is Love the only ever lasting glory…”

X: “Friendship and Love are not to be defined by the very meaning of it…. It is actually defined by the people who are involved in it. There are friends who stay life long and love that breaks…. It is basically the people who are involved in that make the difference nothing else….”

ME: “when the very definition depends on persons who r in love or friendship then it makes that every person has their own definition of Friendship and Love as they have the power to choose the person in that relation. And their needs and demands give new dimensions to those two words.”

Now Q says that,

Q: “Friendship has got limitations while Love is not… they both are two separate different arenas filled with different kinds of emotions.”

ME: “According to me there is nothing feeble or Glorifying in this world and I condemn the very basic definitions of Love and Friendship. Everything is Perspective in this world. And to me as mentioned above love and friendship are defined by their own needs.

Everybody wants a emotional support, and to have that emotional support we lean on other humans.. and take their support to stand straight in the society… which is built again in a false bubble of expectations and rules… and more materialistic things… while being in a relative world we always compare us with some body else to feel secure about us or our position. Rather than thriving to be ahead on ur own and setting goals on us by us… we always set goals for others and our decisions are influenced by others.

And people call Love a Glory because to satisfy themselves and also the other person to show that they are the higher priorities in their life. So, that ones ego is satisfied. We categorize people based on our needs as Friends and Lovers. And we reveal partially to both of them. We hold secrets to both… and to satisfy the society and our ego and the love’s or friends ego we maintain certain distance among each others…

Nothing ends until or unless we want to end it. Because we have found a better emotional back up or support that satisfies our ego. And sometimes we continue to sail on both boats so that we get the full emotional back up… and to satisfy our ego we lie to people in both relations… Once, the boats sailing together now sail apart. By making it difficult to make the voyage of one’s life any more peaceful. As we keep the keys of our happiness into others hands to satisfy their ego…

Neither Friendship nor Love ends… they are just needs we wanted and proclaimed them by not being fully truthful to us. You cannot blame the other person, if you are not hundred percent truthful and committed to ur relationship with the other person in the relation.

You are always the key to choose…. So, don’t make a wrong choice.”

Actually this chat went one sided… expecting others to continue… here…..

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